My Thoughts On Mintzy Being Rewarded With The Last Spot In Surviving Barstool

Listen, I gotta be careful with how I word this because the last thing I want to do here is ruffle any feathers to the point where the man who signs the checks forces me to apologize to Mintzy or move across the country, but I’ve held this in for three months now. And you know what they say, if you don’t get it off your chest, you’ll never be able to breathe. So my burning question is very simple: how the fuck did Ben Mintz get the last minute invite to be on Surviving Barstool? 

Don’t get me wrong. I totally understand that Content is King and that one cross-eyed gaze into the camera while misunderstanding how to write down your vote on paper is worth 10 Brandon Walkers, 20 Nick Turanis, 30 of Mark Titus, and 40 KBs alone….so I guess my point isn’t even that Mintzy shouldn’t have gotten the invite….but rather, why are we shocked that he’s repeating his bad behaviors? It’s the pattern of mess-up, go to the College Football Show in Oxford, mess-up, crowd surf at Pup Punk, mess-up, do Rat Race, mess-up, go to the Super Bowl that I don’t understand.

Oh, you ruined last season of Surviving Barstool? Let’s make you go away on vacation for the next one (the original plan). Or wait, better yet, why don’t you just come play in it (what ended up happening)? Worst case you get to be on the most viewed show in company history, best case you make a quarter of a million dollars. I for one am shocked that Mintzy screwed Kate over last week because he thought he was higher on the totem pole than her! Where would he get that idea? (Forget the scene where Dave tells all the other employees to keep Mintzy around to make the show better)

To be clear, this blog comes out of pure jealousy, as well as a heavy dose of frustration. I would literally stick a knife into one of my coworker’s backs for $250,000. But instead, I’m watching someone who was rightfully described as a “free spot on the Bingo board” get the call up to the major leagues, only to outlast someone in Episode 1 who simply didn’t care. I guess my request for the next time we do this show, for 25x less the money, is that we give a one question survey before making the cast. Question 1: Will you try?

Listen, I don’t think I was the answer to be on the show, but when the opportunity arose in Chicago and someone needed to fill in for Bri, I’d have thought the Standby List would’ve come from effort, talent, or moving the needle (of which there were plenty of options) before it came down to sheer stupidity. And I can’t help but ask myself, what does this show that we value here at Barstool? The answer to me is very clear…and it reminds me of that age old adage my high school basketball coach used to say to us:  

Ugh, sometimes I just wish I was a little bit slower in the head and I would be able to move up the ladder quicker + get a Mintzy opportunity / pay bump at this company. Side note: why do so many of them bag groceries for $9 an hour when they could just apply to Barstool and make six figures to do a much less strenuous job and vacation more often? But again, this is only 10% about the awesome surprise of including him on the show, while the other 90% is about the repeated fiasco we continue to see in which Mintzy fucks up, apologizes, lathers, rinses, and repeats until he is given the next big opportunity. And you can mark my words…Dave will say he’s very upset and very disappointed in him on Thursday on the Unnamed Show for his actions last week with the $25,000 free bet. Then he’ll fly his ass down to the Super Bowl in New Orleans in February. So my question is this: why would he stop running the same play that got him here? It's like the child in the store that throws a temper tantrum until he gets the toy he wants. And we continuously give him the toy, and then on the way home say, but no more temper tantrums! Except Mintzy isn't a child, he's a 40 year old man. 

Watch the season premiere if you haven't done so yet here: